We have entered an advise-heavy era. Is advise a simple nudge, or a guidance, it is coming to us from everywhere. But why does it seem so hollow?
Nona Walia
Advice is free and everywhere these days. We live in a world where everyone is a guru. Everyone has some advice to give. But have we had enough. Do we crave for a world that’s advice and suggestion free. Elizabeth Scott, from verywellmind.com, says that anyone can be on the receiving end of unsolicited advice, and it doesn’t always feel helpful, ‘when someone is giving advice to make themselves feel more powerful.’
This is a world of public intellectuals. Agony aunts, life coaches, business consultants, HR pundits, advertising gurus, intelligentsia of writers, psychologists, marketing gurus, fitness and diet experts – almost everyone is a guru giving advice on social media. We have entered an advise-heavy era. There’s advice coming towards us from everywhere but why does it seem so hollow. Studies on “advice utilization,” show that we are stubborn to accept nudges. Every newspaper and website has an ‘advice column’. On social media most advice is unrelatable.
Even though advice gives you cue, to what’s important, at an intellectual or physical or emotional level. Not all advise is transformative specially that on social media. Those giving advice are not invested enough in other people’s lives. All advice therefore is nothing but small talk.
So then, what’s real advice? Human connect, meeting offline, investing and knowing the other, understanding what will work individually for that person. Giving advice isn’t about feeling powerful and feeling like a know-it-all, it should be compassionate. But advice seekers and givers must not hold on to their own opinions. The whole interaction is a subtle and intricate art.
Dr. Art Markman for Psychology Today, a set of four studies led by Michael Schaerer looked at how giving advice influences a person's sense of power. Each study focused on power perception slightly differently, but all relied on participants filling out scales to measure the desire for or current feelings of power.
As Markman interprets, taken together, these studies indicate that, even if you're not actively out to take the reins over others, giving advice can make you feel like you have some sway, which helps you feel more powerful.
There’s no one advice that fits all. An article in Harvard Business Review cautions that you need to understand the quality of advice. There’s also something like bad advice – when you overwhelm seekers with too many ideas, alternatives, action plans, perspectives, or interpretations.
When on social media, be picky and choosy about the advice that works for you. When giving advice ground your narrative in context, elaborate the thinking behind each advice and why it will work for that individual. Make a plan what will happen if you put advice into action.
(Nona Walia is an author, journalist and writer. She is a wellness warrior and trailblazer for human-centered workplaces. Her second book Own Your Energy explores the energy crisis in the human race. Her first book, The Art of Mental Toughness: Survival Lessons from the Pandemic, was about grit and resilience in uncertain times. Walia holds an online certificate course from Yale University on Science of Well-Being. She worked with Times of India for 24 years as Senior Assistant Editor and is also an acclaimed writer of many articles for Thrive Global, Entrepreneur and Her Circle)