Two strong women with unusual lives in 1930s, changed the
destiny of their families as they moved their children and belongings
from Pakistan to India! Why we must document lives of our ancestors!
Nona Walia
How far back can you go into your family tree. If each generation had documented their family history we would know our family tree 1000 years back. We would trace emotions, lives and diseases. We would know blessings and curses. We would know our stories better.
So, I often delve into the relics of past, to know the secrets, to know the magic of the past it unlocks the blocks of the present!
I've been collecting minutest information about my great-grandmothers over the years. This Mother's Day seemed right, to do a piece on their iconic yet ordinary lives. It's also interesting to map emotional, intellectual and financial change in patterns of mothering in different generations.
An Instagram post on the tale of my two great grandmothers led to
this blog. Two fascinating women. It’s interesting to trace back your
roots as far as possible especially those which have unusual stories.
My maternal great grandmother Ram Kaur (nani’s mom) became a
young widow and remarried in 1920s in Sargoda Pakistan. She had
one daughter from her first marriage Mehtab Kaur (my grandmother),
four kids from her second marriage. Verbal anecdotes of her strength,
grit were narrated. Ram Kaur worked in Lahore and moved to Moga
(Punjab) after partition. She insisted her daughter get best education
and work; my paternal great grandmother Balwant Kaur married my
great grandfather because he didn’t have sons from his first wife. She
was a disciple of Sant Randhir Singh (1878-1961) who led the
Gurdwara movement during partition. She lost her husband when her
twins were a few months old. It was with Sant Randhir Singh’s
blessing that twins were born to her, so she dedicated her life and
twins as his follower. She brought up her kids almost single-handedly.
She lived between Lahore and Chamkaur Sahib (ancestral home and
land), moved to Delhi after the partition. She stayed for a few years in
our current Delhi house. She passed away in a bus accident while
going to Bangla Sahib gurdwara in late 1950s. Her two sons carried
on her legacy.
Why are these two women relevant even after 100 years? Because in
the era they lived they were known for their strength and grit. Because
verbal stories of their valour were passed down generations. Because
their quick-thinking changed the lives of families, children and great-
grandchildren. Because they were both worldly in a social way,
travelled to different cities where they had children, siblings and
relatives. Their worldview gave them one vision: to give the best
education to their children. With best education – be it men or women
of the family not only survived but thrived the partition.
Both great grandmothers lived unusual lives. They were both strong-
minded. Both survived the partition because they had homes and land
in Pakistan and India.
The strength is passed down generations. Our ancestors sow the
seeds. Womb to womb dreams are passed on. Our genes carry stories
of a bygone era. We are protected by the prayers of our great
grandmothers. We are, because they envisioned. They built. They
cared.
It takes generations of strong women to change and rewrite fates and
history. It takes generations of learned women to empower. No,
change doesn’t happen in one generation. The seeds are sown much
earlier.
Here’s why you should document your family history during
pandemic:
ï‚· Writing your family history gives you the chance to depict your
ancestors how you see fit. It gives a cultural, economic and
social perspective to your current self.
ï‚· There is a need for more family histories documenting female
lives. Family histories before Partition especially women are
unknown and not celebrated much. Discover your great, great,
grandmother’s family history and narrate it. It tells you why
certain traditions, manners, emotions, prayers, spiritual
traditions, customs, foods run in families.
 Don’t take for granted that the lives of your ancestors are lost.
Evidence of the people they have been exists somewhere and is
discoverable. Trace it and document it.
ï‚· Now as we try to come out of the pandemic, we need to know
the survival instincts of our ancestors on how they survived
partition, how they rebuild and went on with their lives without
looking back on what they lost. Why people from the partition
were never bitter, how they embraced abundance again.
 Don’t lose generations of family history or treat it as junk.
Families are important social groups to identify with.